Character Options if I am to Cosplay
July 25, 2010I’ve always wanted to join a cosplay. Any character will do so long as I experience the fun and excitement of cosplaying. Problem is I don’t have the looks for cosplay (I’m too ugly). I have the body, but not the face. Now don’t give me any of that optimistic advice and consoling hugs and kisses for wallowing in my ugliness again because I don’t need them.
Anyway, so I figured I could get a little help from my friends over at Yahoo! Answers. I asked for suggestions on cosplay-able characters that don’t show their faces as my face is unpresentable and horrid. I might only put a damper on the beautiful name and image of these fictional characters. I mean, look at these anime characters and cosplayers:
Alodia Gosiengfiao as Haruhi Suzumiya:
Francesca Dani as Honey Kisaragi:
Kipi as Misa Amane:
I don’t mean all cosplay girls are drop dead gorgeous, but I’m nothing like these hot women. Just look at me! U-G-L-Y!!
And, I have an underbite.
If I do join a cosplay, I might look like this:
As you can figure out by now, I DO care about what othes think. I know what they say behind my back, that I have everyting except beauty. GILLIAN IS SO SMART AND HOT, BUT TOO BAD SHE’S UGLY. >.<
So here are my choices if ever I enter a cosplay thingie. Some are suggestions from my Y! Answers question.
Tobi:
Priss Asagiri (with her helmet on at all times):
An ANBU officer:
Shana inside a cardboard box:
Lelouch of the Rebellion:
Domo-kun:
The Death Note:
Pacman:
Kitty:
My Favorite Avatar Moment
July 13, 2010“Fire Lord Ozai,” said Aang in a distorted, possessed-like voice. “You and your forefathers have devastated the balance of this world. And now, you shall pay the ultimate price.”
It was like… all the past avatars spoke in chorus and united to end the life of tyrant Fire Lord Ozai. But of course, the better part of Aang wins in the end, and he snaps out of avatar state, but eventually takes care of Ozai himself without having to kill him.
Brilliant conclusion to the Avatar series!
I was afraid the ending was going to be a total rip off, like Aang eventually killing Ozai but destroying himself in the process so they both die, or Aang having lost his bending due to taking away Ozai’s firebending. That would be terrible! I’d go, “Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! This can’t be!!!!!!!!!!!”
Miss You Love
July 4, 2010I wish grunge would come back. I miss Soundgarden and Nirvana as well as the old Silverchair and The Smashing Pumpkins. Oh well, these bands will always be alive because their songs have been immortalized. As long as I have a music player of any sort, I’ll be good.
Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun
Ugly - The Smashing Pumpkins
Silverchair - Ana’s Song (Open Fire)
Silverchair - I Miss You Love
Nirvana-Rape Me (LP Version)
Ah, Rape Me, one of my favorite Nirvana songs.
I remember this one time I sang Rape Me in a videoke bar. Well, it wasn’t really a karaoke bar. The company I used to work with featured a videoke machine in the lounge area so that employees would have less boring lives. Anyway, I was so excited to use the karaoke component for the first time, so I requested one of my fave songs, Rape Me. So I was there screaming out “Rape meeeee, rape meeeee, rape meeeee…” while everyone passing by shot WTF glances at me! LMAO That was so fun.
Three fair-haired aliens wearing grunge-looking clothes.
Panatang Makabayan
June 30, 2010
The (officially) former President Gloria Arroyo declared June 30 a national non-working holiday as it is the day president-elect Noynoy Aquino will grace the Quirino Grandstand in Manila to be inaugurated.
So right now, I’m here in the living room in front of the computer and watching TV at the same time (yes, it’s humanly possible) watching the inauguration. The oath taking just took place. It certainly is an important event in the nation’s history, but the only thing that was in my mind as Noynoy swore in was the Panatang Makabayan. 
I remember when I was a kid, we would have a flag ceremony everyday or once a week at school. We would line up in front of the flagpole and sing the national anthem, and then right after we would raise our right hand and recite the Oath of Allegiance together.
Now why would I remember a childhood memory while watching the inauguration on TV? I guess it’s because it was similar to what Noynoy was doing: reciting the national pledge. The only difference is that back when I was a kid, I never really knew the gravity and meaning of what we were doing. I’m sure my classmates felt the same way. We were just blabbering something our teachers made us memorize.
Does this mean Noynoy’s pledge is (totally) more heartfelt and patriotic? Well, I don’t know. Guess we’ll have to find out during the span of his tenure.
Panatang Makabayan
Iniibig ko ang Pilipinas,
aking lupang sinilangan,
tahanan ng aking lahi;
kinukupkop ako at tinutulungan
maging malakas, masipag, at marangal.
Dahil mahal ko ang Pilipinas,
diringgin ko ang payo ng aking mga magulang,
susundin ko ang tuntunin ng paaralan,
tutuparin ko ang tungkulin ng mamamayang makabayan;
naglilingkod, nag-aaral, at nagdarasal
nang buong katapatan.
Iaalay ko ang aking buhay, pangarap,pagsisikap
sa bansang Pilipinas.
The Bestest NBA Player Ever!
June 29, 2010I’ve been telling myself to post stuff about my favorite NBA player, but kept on procrastinating. Well, what can you do? I’m a procrastinator. So, I’ve finally visited my blog again to update it. However, now’s not really a good time to go blogging because I’ve got other (more important?) things to do. Not that Steve Nash isn’t important. I live and breathe Steve Nash! It’s just that I have a really good reason to procrastinate this time: work. 
But still, I’ve been promising people and myself that I’d post stuff about the greatest, most talented athlete of our time. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’ll be posting a series of entries about the “60 million dollar man,” and I’ll start off with this short post.
Ok, here we go.
Steve Nash. *SIGH* He’s the only reason why I watch NBA; why a girl like me - who’s oh so girly and inactive - loves watching basketball. Of course, that’s not the reason why I started to love the game. It’s the thrill! The tingle! The kick! Then, I came to love Steve Nash because of his skills, and then I researched a lot about him, and then I found out that he’s about the most talented athlete… ever! I mean, where else can you find a sportsman like that? A two-time MVP winner, highly-esteemed point guard, killer soccer player, brilliant filmmaker, hilarious comic… the list goes on!
If you don’t believe me, here’s some proof:
(I don’t own nor have rights to any of these)
Steve Nash is known for his deadpan humor, which makes him even funnier. ^_^ Nash’s first try at producing commercials. It’s a commercial for Nike. Though this is his first time, you can immediately see his knack for filmmaking. One word: brilliant! I bet Robin lost his appetite and didn’t get to finish his sausage. LOL This is why he became MVP… twice! So sick! D’ya see that? LMAO
None of my "friends" remembered my birthday. Now do you see how worthless I am?
June 10, 2010Dear Diary,
Today’s my birthday, and none of my friends remembered. Only one friend greeted me, and that was because I told her today was the day I was born 23 years ago. Thank you, Roxie, for being there for me.
The day’s about to draw to a close; it’s almost 12 o’clock PM. Still, no other friend has greeted me yet.
This HAS been the saddest day of the year for me. My prediction came true.
This only means that all the people I considered friends aren’t really my friends. I don’t have a friend. I am all alone.
I was alone when I had dinner when everyone in the office was eating together. I was alone while doing my task for the day. I was alone when I went home. I’m always alone. I’m a lonely loner who’s all alone.
No one wants to greet me and no one wants to remember me because I’m not pretty. I’m as ugly as chicken shit. Why do only the pretty ones get everything? What have I done to deserve this eternal punishment? Is it wrong to live? If it is, I’m so sorry for existing. I’m so sorry for uglifying this beautiful world. Please forgive me. Please kill me. This would be a perfect day to die because it’s my birthday. If my death day were the same as my birthday, then perhaps they’d notice.
Kill me,
Gillian
Cursed be the day I was born!
June 9, 2010In a couple of minutes from now, it’s going to be the saddest day of the year for me - my birthday. And I curse the day I was born! The day my mother bore me should not be blessed! I was born to this world only to face suffering and misery. Sure, that’s what life is really about - living only to suffer from despair and anguish in this hate-filled world. But the sadness I feel is so great as to make me wish I was never born!
This overwhelming emptiness and anger was just what Jeremiah from the Bible felt after becoming a laughingstok and the butt of all jokes, as stated in Jeremiah 20:14-18
Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father,”A son is born to you,” making him very glad. Let that man be like the cities that the LORD overthrew without pity; let him hear a cry in the morning and an alarm at noon, because he did not kill me in the womb; so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb forever great. Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?
I haven’t read the rest of the book, so I don’t know if Jeremiah became successful in suppressing his depression. I once believed that conquering depression is possible, but right now everything’s so dark… hazy at the least. All I can do is cry, be angry at myself and pour my heart out through this blog.
Dear God, please kill me now.
Dear God,
Please kill me now. The only thing I ask of you is to kill me now.
Why have you given me a heart when no one wants to touch me? I have done thy bidding! What do I have to do?? Please put me out of my misery. Kill me!
Love,
Gillian
—
I Feel Like Shit Lately
I’m worthless, stupid, clumsy, weird, ugly and there’s absolutely nothing special about me. I have no one to turn to in times like these. God doesn’t listen to me.
Yet, there is Three Days Grace. P.O.D.’s good if I want to look up, but Three Days Grace can express all the melancholy, worthlessness, misery and hate I feel. For example, the song Riot says:
If you feel so filthy
So dirty so fucked up
If you feel so walked on
So painful so pissed off
You’re not the only one
Refusing to go down
You’re not the only one
So get up
If you notice, there’s still a tinge of optimism suggested there, which doesn’t help because all the light in my world has been sucked away. I’m inside a bottomless pit and the darkness is swallowing me. I can’t get out, I’m suffocating and all I do is keep on falling. Sometimes, I feel like Toru Okada when he spent days cooped up in an abandoned well with nothing but his thoughts and the darkness.
Three Days Grace - Riot
Songs that get me through the day intact and without wrist slashes
June 2, 2010Will You - P.O.D.
Alive - P.O.D.
Dear Diary,
My officemates made fun of me today.
Am I really that weird?
Is plugging my headphones into my ears while mouthing my favorite songs really funny and stupid?
Do I look crazy because I type really loudly?
Is it wrong to be excessively happy and to smile a lot?
What’s wrong with having a California girl accent?
Is acting like a scatterbrain wrong?
Have they always wanted to mock me and make a fool out of me?
Do I fit in here?
I want to know, or else I’ll hate myself forever. I’ll never do those things again. I’ll try as much as possible to slip into the office as quietly as a mouse. I’ll keep my head down at all times and never start a conversation with anyone. I’ll only talk when asked. Oh God, help me! Why have you given me a heart when nobody wants to love me?
Just passing by….
but then, for sure, once i’m all tied up with my career i’ll be looking for that free time i once hated so much lol
Post! Post! Gimme my Gillian dose!
