Panatang Makabayan
June 30, 2010
The (officially) former President Gloria Arroyo declared June 30 a national non-working holiday as it is the day president-elect Noynoy Aquino will grace the Quirino Grandstand in Manila to be inaugurated.
So right now, I’m here in the living room in front of the computer and watching TV at the same time (yes, it’s humanly possible) watching the inauguration. The oath taking just took place. It certainly is an important event in the nation’s history, but the only thing that was in my mind as Noynoy swore in was the Panatang Makabayan. 
I remember when I was a kid, we would have a flag ceremony everyday or once a week at school. We would line up in front of the flagpole and sing the national anthem, and then right after we would raise our right hand and recite the Oath of Allegiance together.
Now why would I remember a childhood memory while watching the inauguration on TV? I guess it’s because it was similar to what Noynoy was doing: reciting the national pledge. The only difference is that back when I was a kid, I never really knew the gravity and meaning of what we were doing. I’m sure my classmates felt the same way. We were just blabbering something our teachers made us memorize.
Does this mean Noynoy’s pledge is (totally) more heartfelt and patriotic? Well, I don’t know. Guess we’ll have to find out during the span of his tenure.
Panatang Makabayan
Iniibig ko ang Pilipinas,
aking lupang sinilangan,
tahanan ng aking lahi;
kinukupkop ako at tinutulungan
maging malakas, masipag, at marangal.
Dahil mahal ko ang Pilipinas,
diringgin ko ang payo ng aking mga magulang,
susundin ko ang tuntunin ng paaralan,
tutuparin ko ang tungkulin ng mamamayang makabayan;
naglilingkod, nag-aaral, at nagdarasal
nang buong katapatan.
Iaalay ko ang aking buhay, pangarap,pagsisikap
sa bansang Pilipinas.
The Bestest NBA Player Ever!
June 29, 2010I’ve been telling myself to post stuff about my favorite NBA player, but kept on procrastinating. Well, what can you do? I’m a procrastinator. So, I’ve finally visited my blog again to update it. However, now’s not really a good time to go blogging because I’ve got other (more important?) things to do. Not that Steve Nash isn’t important. I live and breathe Steve Nash! It’s just that I have a really good reason to procrastinate this time: work. 
But still, I’ve been promising people and myself that I’d post stuff about the greatest, most talented athlete of our time. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’ll be posting a series of entries about the “60 million dollar man,” and I’ll start off with this short post.
Ok, here we go.
Steve Nash. *SIGH* He’s the only reason why I watch NBA; why a girl like me - who’s oh so girly and inactive - loves watching basketball. Of course, that’s not the reason why I started to love the game. It’s the thrill! The tingle! The kick! Then, I came to love Steve Nash because of his skills, and then I researched a lot about him, and then I found out that he’s about the most talented athlete… ever! I mean, where else can you find a sportsman like that? A two-time MVP winner, highly-esteemed point guard, killer soccer player, brilliant filmmaker, hilarious comic… the list goes on!
If you don’t believe me, here’s some proof:
(I don’t own nor have rights to any of these)
Steve Nash is known for his deadpan humor, which makes him even funnier. ^_^ Nash’s first try at producing commercials. It’s a commercial for Nike. Though this is his first time, you can immediately see his knack for filmmaking. One word: brilliant! I bet Robin lost his appetite and didn’t get to finish his sausage. LOL This is why he became MVP… twice! So sick! D’ya see that? LMAO
None of my "friends" remembered my birthday. Now do you see how worthless I am?
June 10, 2010Dear Diary,
Today’s my birthday, and none of my friends remembered. Only one friend greeted me, and that was because I told her today was the day I was born 23 years ago. Thank you, Roxie, for being there for me.
The day’s about to draw to a close; it’s almost 12 o’clock PM. Still, no other friend has greeted me yet.
This HAS been the saddest day of the year for me. My prediction came true.
This only means that all the people I considered friends aren’t really my friends. I don’t have a friend. I am all alone.
I was alone when I had dinner when everyone in the office was eating together. I was alone while doing my task for the day. I was alone when I went home. I’m always alone. I’m a lonely loner who’s all alone.
No one wants to greet me and no one wants to remember me because I’m not pretty. I’m as ugly as chicken shit. Why do only the pretty ones get everything? What have I done to deserve this eternal punishment? Is it wrong to live? If it is, I’m so sorry for existing. I’m so sorry for uglifying this beautiful world. Please forgive me. Please kill me. This would be a perfect day to die because it’s my birthday. If my death day were the same as my birthday, then perhaps they’d notice.
Kill me,
Gillian
Cursed be the day I was born!
June 9, 2010In a couple of minutes from now, it’s going to be the saddest day of the year for me - my birthday. And I curse the day I was born! The day my mother bore me should not be blessed! I was born to this world only to face suffering and misery. Sure, that’s what life is really about - living only to suffer from despair and anguish in this hate-filled world. But the sadness I feel is so great as to make me wish I was never born!
This overwhelming emptiness and anger was just what Jeremiah from the Bible felt after becoming a laughingstok and the butt of all jokes, as stated in Jeremiah 20:14-18
Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed! Cursed be the man who brought the news to my father,”A son is born to you,” making him very glad. Let that man be like the cities that the LORD overthrew without pity; let him hear a cry in the morning and an alarm at noon, because he did not kill me in the womb; so my mother would have been my grave, and her womb forever great. Why did I come out from the womb to see toil and sorrow, and spend my days in shame?
I haven’t read the rest of the book, so I don’t know if Jeremiah became successful in suppressing his depression. I once believed that conquering depression is possible, but right now everything’s so dark… hazy at the least. All I can do is cry, be angry at myself and pour my heart out through this blog.
Dear God, please kill me now.
Dear God,
Please kill me now. The only thing I ask of you is to kill me now.
Why have you given me a heart when no one wants to touch me? I have done thy bidding! What do I have to do?? Please put me out of my misery. Kill me!
Love,
Gillian
—
I Feel Like Shit Lately
I’m worthless, stupid, clumsy, weird, ugly and there’s absolutely nothing special about me. I have no one to turn to in times like these. God doesn’t listen to me.
Yet, there is Three Days Grace. P.O.D.’s good if I want to look up, but Three Days Grace can express all the melancholy, worthlessness, misery and hate I feel. For example, the song Riot says:
If you feel so filthy
So dirty so fucked up
If you feel so walked on
So painful so pissed off
You’re not the only one
Refusing to go down
You’re not the only one
So get up
If you notice, there’s still a tinge of optimism suggested there, which doesn’t help because all the light in my world has been sucked away. I’m inside a bottomless pit and the darkness is swallowing me. I can’t get out, I’m suffocating and all I do is keep on falling. Sometimes, I feel like Toru Okada when he spent days cooped up in an abandoned well with nothing but his thoughts and the darkness.
Three Days Grace - Riot
Songs that get me through the day intact and without wrist slashes
June 2, 2010Will You - P.O.D.
Alive - P.O.D.
Dear Diary,
My officemates made fun of me today.
Am I really that weird?
Is plugging my headphones into my ears while mouthing my favorite songs really funny and stupid?
Do I look crazy because I type really loudly?
Is it wrong to be excessively happy and to smile a lot?
What’s wrong with having a California girl accent?
Is acting like a scatterbrain wrong?
Have they always wanted to mock me and make a fool out of me?
Do I fit in here?
I want to know, or else I’ll hate myself forever. I’ll never do those things again. I’ll try as much as possible to slip into the office as quietly as a mouse. I’ll keep my head down at all times and never start a conversation with anyone. I’ll only talk when asked. Oh God, help me! Why have you given me a heart when nobody wants to love me?
Suns’ Chemistry and Camaraderie Lead to Awesome Season
Just when everyone least expected it, the Suns turned out to be tight on and off the court. What’s more is that this team chemistry was one of the foremost factors that led to a stellar season, and a season that ended at the Western Conference finals at that!
During the early stages of the 2009-10 season, everyone was skeptical whether this bunch would work, what with aging starters (Grant Hill and Steve Nash) and a handful of younger stars, one of which is Amare Stoudemire, who happened to have gone through a lame duck season due to injury.
But surprisingly, this seemingly mismatched team developed a warm camaraderie and great teamwork along the way.
Full article at:
Team Chemistry Leads to Suns’ Stellar Season on Valley of the Suns
Tapos Na Ang Maliligayang Araw Ko!
June 1, 2010I’m so ugly, I scare my reflection away.
I don’t ever want to go back to the blackhole of depression, but lately I’ve been feeling so worthless and ugly. And it’s because I am!
I wish I were never even born. Why must I live like this? Why was I allowed to live at all?? God, why did you give me emotions when no one wants to love me??
Why did they all leave me? Would they have stayed if I were prettier? Why am I so ugly? Why did you allow me to live, God?
Just passing by….
but then, for sure, once i’m all tied up with my career i’ll be looking for that free time i once hated so much lol
Post! Post! Gimme my Gillian dose!
